Dopamine is a chemical in the brain that drives desire, love, and the pursuit of more. It’s the molecule that makes us want things, and it’s the key to understanding human behavior. When we look down, we see things that are within our reach, things we can control and manipulate without planning or effort. But when we look up, we see things that are out of our reach, things we have to plan and work for to get.
The brain manages the external world in different ways when we look down versus when we look up. When we look down, we see things that are within our reach, things we can control right now with our hands. When we look up, we see things that are out of our reach, things we have to plan and work for to get. Dopamine is the chemical that dominates when the brain engages with things that are out of our reach, and it’s the key to understanding why we’re never happy for very long.
The Role of Dopamine in Love and Desire
Dopamine is the spark that sets everything in motion when it comes to love and desire. It’s the anticipation molecule, and it drives us to seek out new things and experiences. But for love to continue, the relationship must change, because the chemistry behind it changes. Dopamine isn’t the pleasure molecule, it’s the anticipation molecule, and to enjoy what we have, our brains must transition from future-oriented dopamine to a group of present-oriented chemicals.
These present-oriented chemicals, which include serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins, and endocannabinoids, produce pleasure through sensation and emotion. After a while, couples must develop a different kind of attachment. Companionate love involves experiences happening right here and right now, and it is mediated by these present-oriented chemicals.
The Dark Side of Dopamine
There’s a dark side to dopamine, and it’s the key to understanding addiction. Addictive drugs hijack the desire circuit, stimulating it far more intensely than natural rewards like food or sex. The dopamine system normally helps us learn from unexpected rewards, but addictive drugs bypass this process and artificially ignite the dopamine system. This can lead to a gnawing desire and craving for more, and it’s the reason why twelve-step programs warn addicts about the triggers that can lead to relapse.
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The brain has a delicate balance between dopamine and the present-oriented chemicals, and an imbalance can have negative effects. To live well, we need to bring these chemicals back into balance, and that means finding ways to manage our dopamine levels. One way to do this is to focus on the present moment, rather than getting caught up in thoughts of the future or past, allowing us to be more mindful of our brain changes over time.
Planning and Calculation
Dopamine makes us want things, but it’s not the only chemical at work in the brain. There’s also a complementary dopamine circuit that calculates what sort of things are worth having. This circuit allows us to construct plans, to strategize and dominate the world around us to get the things we want.
This circuit enables us to make long-term plans and to create tools and use abstract concepts like language and mathematics.
The High Cost of Living in the Future
Living our lives in the abstract, unreal, dopaminergic world of future possibilities comes at a cost, and that cost is happiness. Researchers have found that people are less happy when their minds wander, and it doesn’t matter what the activity is. Whether we’re eating, working, watching TV, or socializing, we’re happier when we’re paying attention to what we’re doing. By spending time in the present, we take in sensory information about the reality we live in, and we allow the dopamine system to use that information to develop reward-maximizing plans.
Creating something new, something that has never been conceived before, is one of the most durable dopaminergic pleasures. It’s the key to understanding why we’re driven to create, to innovate, and to push beyond the boundaries of what’s possible. And it’s the reason why dopamine will continue to play a central role in shaping human behavior, driving us to pursue our desires, and pushing us to achieve our goals, ultimately influencing our overall well-being journey.
